Brett Kavanaugh is a murderer.

That's right, I said it.  Brett Kavanaugh is a murderer.  I was at a party with him back in 1983 where he was gang raping everything - women, men, even the dog was walking funny.  I approached him about it and without warning, BANG!  A shot went off in my face.  Brett Kavanaugh had sneakily pulled a gun and killed me.  It blew the back of my skull clean off. I remember the blood dripping down.  And as I fell, my body twisted under the force of the shot so that my eyes, as they were glazing over the for the last time, could see pieces of skull and splatters of brains running down the wall behind me.  That foul, despicable human being took my life and then he laughed.  He then got with his band of thugs and buried me in a shallow grave right outside the party house where I still lie today.

Yep, that's my story.  Don't question me, because it really, really happened.  Really.  I swear.  I wasn't sure at first but then during a 6 day session with "counselors" from the DNC, I was able to remember many of the details, despite having been killed in the attack.  And now I expect a little army of brainwashed libtards to go and avenge my death, chanting and shouting the the faces of those who are investigating my obviously true claims.