Using your humanity to help yourself.

Humans are a herding species.  Few people know that but if you analyze the data, the matter is clear.   Herds make decisions and take action based on what others are saying and doing.  It’s a very successful (usually) form of energy conservation at the group level.  I have expended thousands of hours on financial study and so every month people send me $39.95 for my insights on market timing.  It’s just a lot cheaper to follow others as long as you pick the right leaders. 

One aspect of being a herding species is that our personal view of our current situation is not based on absolutes but on relative metrics.  For example, if everyone in your country or city cannot afford any form of transportation, but you somehow come into possession of a bicycle, you would consider yourself very fortunate.  That same bicycle in another area where others are wealthy would be considered a sign of abject poverty.  With herds, state of mind is relative.  This notion is even built into our old sayings.  For example, misery loves company is simply a way of saying that if you are miserable but note that everyone around you is also miserable then you can handle your own misery a bit better because that is the norm for the time being.  Likewise, TV shows dub in fake laughter of crowds when they want to induce you to laugh. You might be laughing simply to avoid being the stand out that is not laughing.  All of this is automatic and subconscious.  Many other examples exist.  

Herding is part of humanity.  Those who understand this can use this to their benefit.  For example, if you are feeling down or depressed then take a few minutes to consider the facts.  Are you sick/dying/starving?  No?  Do you have full use of your body and sensory inputs?  Can you walk, talk, hear, and see?  The answer for most is probably yes.  But still even with all of these functional gifts we find reasons to be depressed and sad.  So here is a suggestion to try.  Next time you feel depression taking over, go find someone else on the Internet who actually has a reason to be depressed.  For example, take the case of Kristina Vogel, a beautiful 27 year old female athlete who had an amazing career in competitive cycling.   The picture below was taken when she was on top of her game. 

Just this past June she got into a bicycle accident while going 40MPh and the impact of the crash left her paralyzed from the waist down.  The details of her tragedy are not really important to my point.  Suffice to say that her life as a cyclist, or even as a very active person, is over.  This kind of person will recover to the degree possible and make the best of a very fucked up situation.  But if anyone has the right to be depressed it is someone like this.  How does your personal situation compare to this kind of ridiculously horrible situation?  The rest of her life will be lived in the nightmare prison of a wheel chair.  There is almost zero chance of that changing, no matter how hard she works, no matter how hard she tries to break free.  Can your current misery measure up to hers?  The answer is, probably not.  Even the recent death of a loved one will pass in time.  Many people lose loved ones and then go on to have full, happy lives.  But Kristina has known athleticism and the joy of competition that are now gone from her forever.  Forever is a long fucking time if you are 27!  

With apologies to Kristina, I hope you are feeling better about your own situation now that you have a larger context to consider it in.